Tribute to My MOTHER who FATHERED US – 1946 – 2014
When our FATHER was struck down with debilitating www.parkinsons.org.uk and other complication of illnesses in his early 50’s, Mum was in her late 40’s. And from thence she had to take on the dual role of Mother and Father to her 8 children which was not an easy task for the faint-hearted. Mum carried out her roles and responsibilities being accountable for bringing up her children in the correct ways by which she was raised by her parents, and carried on where our Father left off.
As the years passed and dad’s illness deteriorated to the point when he was made redundant from his job as a Common Labourer, Mum took on the role of main breadwinner. This meant that Mum had to go out and work to bring home the bacon, putting food on the table, clothes on our backs and ensuring the younger children were privileged to be afforded formal educational statuses. Hence why I am proud of my Foundation with www.jbsf.org.uk.
In later years she had to take on additional roles and responsibilities of informal carer for her husband and mother. When dad took sick initially I could not be more than about 14 years old. Because I recalled the year I started Secondary School when dad was still fit enough to work and he worked throughout his sickness before being made redundant. I guess as a family we must have had about 10 years of good life with dad in GaGa Street before he was struck down with his illnesses. So although my most vivid memories existed from when we moved to GaGa Street at the ripe old age of 4, my most abiding memory from my early teens was having a sick dad www.slam-iapt.nhs.uk/.
The memory I have of dad from 1963 was that of the proverbial Husband & Father responsible and accountable for taking care of his family www.ancestrydna.co.uk. Ten (10) years later by the time I was in Secondary School, dad’s health began to fail big times. Mum had no other alternatives than to take on the roles and responsibilities of being our Mother and Father to her 8 children. So in addition to being the Mother who stayed at home mostly to take care of the home environment, she had to take on dad’s roles.
This meant that Mum had to go out to work to bring home the bacon, planting the ground provisions to supplement the family income and taking care of 2 sick people www.diabetes.org.uk. Although by this time some of the children were grown up, gone on their own so Mum was not responsible for their up keep. However with the exacerbation of dad’s conditions, Mum was put under increasing pressure. This resulted from the fact that gran, Mum’s Mother took sick not long after the brutal murder of mum’s brother Terah.
Dad was bedridden after my 1st child was born and then gran took sick, so Mum’s responsibilities increased 3 folds. Mum had to carry on with the roles she had previously undertaken along with being informal carer for her sick husband and mother who were both in-firmed. Despite the stresses and strains linked to the enormous tasks in front of her Mum was determined that her youngest child would get a High School education www.ofsted.gov.uk. So although Mum got Widow’s Pension after Dad’s death, she had to keep on working as this was not enough to educate her child in High School.
Mum always delivered as God gave her the strength and resilience to overcome all the adversities which confronted her. As an ambitious woman who wanted only the best for her family and her and youngest child in particular http://www.myvision.org.uk. She always traveled the extra miles to accomplish her goals in life. From the age of 45 she worked her fingers to the bones, tightened her belt and made sacrifices so her 8 children and the grand children could have something to look forward to in life after her husband could no longer provide for her.
So on Father’s Day 2014 I salute my Mama for the invaluable role she played being our Mum & Dad when the going got rough. At no stage did she shirk her responsibilities and I am more than grateful for that. I was blessed with 2 exceptional Parents as MOTHER & FATHER and now that neither of them are no longer with Us no one will be able to fill the void. Good rest their souls on this Father’s Day I pray!
Valdin Legister is with Toya Nembhard and Mervelee Ratty Nembhard.June 11, 2013
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